Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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