Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
he's single and there are thong briefs.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
