I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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