like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
