after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
