I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
