She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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