Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
