i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
