she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
