My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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