You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize