:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
