Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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