This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He kissed a someone with a penis
you traded sex for a burrito?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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