oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
