Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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