It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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