Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
