and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
