he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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