I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm at about main and main street
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
