After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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