I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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