Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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