on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
