My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize