The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Oh god it's open bar.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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