oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
A bitchslap is in order.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
