Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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