I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize