remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
