I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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