Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
