a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
