someone get that fucking seahorse.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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