Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My vagina is very pro this idea
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