i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
