Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
