Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
