what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
