I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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