"it" just moved
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize