My boss' voice literally gives me gas
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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