If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
