Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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