How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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