plz talk dirty to me
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
The adults are the big ones right?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
