I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize