I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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