He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
