the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
