dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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