Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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