i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
