I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
