I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
