We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You don't make any sense
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