im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
