Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
