She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
