so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
time to smoke my breakfast
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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