I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
