There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize
