Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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