I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
