it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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