PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
