So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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