I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize