she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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