Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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